Anger

Addressing anger issues is two-fold:

1. Identifying the cause
2. Taking responsibility for changing those causes.

Anger is not a “bad” emotion.

It is simply an indicator that shows where we have been hurt, rejected etc.

Contrary to what you may think…other people are not responsible for your being angry. 

You are.

The good news is, you can do something about it.

1. What stress is underneath my anger?  Sometimes it’s as simple as being tired or not feeling well.  Sometimes something or someone has touched a sensitive spot within us.
2. What can I do to meet my own needs or reduce my own stress?  Remember that the only person you can change is yourself.
3. Can I find other sources of support, nurturance, or appreciation besides the person with whom I am angry?
4. What limits do I want to set but feel afraid to acknowledge or insist on? Do I say “yes” when I’d rather say “no?”  Can I give myself permission to say “no” at times?
5. How can I negotiate for what I want?  Can I make a direct (non-blaming) request for what I want/need?  Can I come up with possible compromises?
6. How might I eventually let go?  If all else fails, you will need to let go of either your expectations in the situation or the person with whom you are struggling. 

 Anger management is an issue often addressed in counseling.